Family Movie Star
Jul. 12th, 2012 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crys_lochI know I wanted to keep this journal to my fanfic and fandom endeavors and not let it become bits and scraps about my everyday life, but I think this deserves to be shared and promoted. And, to be honest, it has kicked up some thoughts I rarely give voice to anymore. First, the very cool thing- a member of my family can now say he has been in a film. In fact, he and his family are the subject of the work. It's called The Devotion Project. It's a series of short documentary films celebrating LGBTQ couples of all stripes. (I took that from the project's YouTube page.) Eric is my cousin's step-son.
Check out his and his family's film here.
The Devotion Project is a great thing and it's cool that Eric got to be a part of it. It just kicked up those ol' gender thoughts in me. Personally, the whole thing drives me mad. Always has. Am I a woman or a man? Do I even want to be a woman or a man? Always with the one or the other and dear gods they each have such limiting and defining projections that it's not a choice between pink or blue it's a choice between beige or off-white. World, you can take your socially constructed, narrowly construed, did you prefer A? or B? taste test and shove it. Sometimes I just want to take this two dimensional gender facade and push, bend and twist it into a four dimensional hypercube or Tesseract and have some time and space to be identified as myself.
I'm both sometimes, or at the same time. Actually, that's true. My brain tested gender neutral or decently functioning male and female. It's not just gender- that's just the social projection choice that drives me mad. It's sex, too. Male/Female. I see myself as both, can feel myself as either. Somewhere along the way I made peace with the body I was born into, or rather, threw up my hands and called a truce. In my faith, (Wiccan) the woman can play both the female or male roles, can be both the goddess or the god; so that helped with the rational. It took many years though and childhood was a confused hell and still there are these flashes of frustration. I want my Tesseract. Where I can be my bisexual, duel sex, omni-gender, never mind the body I just wish my various clothes would hang on it right for 'the look' self.
Still, I'm happy for anyone who figures out their own self and finds a way to live their life happy, free and honest. Eric's a good guy. Check out the cool film.
Check out his and his family's film here.
The Devotion Project is a great thing and it's cool that Eric got to be a part of it. It just kicked up those ol' gender thoughts in me. Personally, the whole thing drives me mad. Always has. Am I a woman or a man? Do I even want to be a woman or a man? Always with the one or the other and dear gods they each have such limiting and defining projections that it's not a choice between pink or blue it's a choice between beige or off-white. World, you can take your socially constructed, narrowly construed, did you prefer A? or B? taste test and shove it. Sometimes I just want to take this two dimensional gender facade and push, bend and twist it into a four dimensional hypercube or Tesseract and have some time and space to be identified as myself.
I'm both sometimes, or at the same time. Actually, that's true. My brain tested gender neutral or decently functioning male and female. It's not just gender- that's just the social projection choice that drives me mad. It's sex, too. Male/Female. I see myself as both, can feel myself as either. Somewhere along the way I made peace with the body I was born into, or rather, threw up my hands and called a truce. In my faith, (Wiccan) the woman can play both the female or male roles, can be both the goddess or the god; so that helped with the rational. It took many years though and childhood was a confused hell and still there are these flashes of frustration. I want my Tesseract. Where I can be my bisexual, duel sex, omni-gender, never mind the body I just wish my various clothes would hang on it right for 'the look' self.
Still, I'm happy for anyone who figures out their own self and finds a way to live their life happy, free and honest. Eric's a good guy. Check out the cool film.
